That Song
by LilyBolt
Summary: It was such a simple gesture…But when Dean pulled up the iTunes account, he found something he hadn't been expecting... A oneshot from Dean's POV taking place mid-season 4. Spoilers for the season 3 finale as well. Not a slash fiction.


**Author's Note: This little oneshot was inspired by the awesome season 3 finale episode, 3X17 "No Rest For the Wicked". However, the story itself takes place sometime mid-season four. Spoilers if you're not through both of those time frames yet. :)  
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**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural. **

It was a silly thing to go through Sam's iPod. It was just that Sam's birthday was that day, and the last birthday he'd experienced had been a serious downer because there had been the whole "your brother is going to hell in about a month" thing looming over Sam's head. And he wanted to make it up to Sam now that he was back. He wanted to start the day off right for the kid, so he thought he would open Sam's iTunes on his laptop and put it on random so Sam could wake up to his own music preferences for once. It was such a simple gesture…But when Dean pulled up the iTunes account, he found something he hadn't been expecting.

He put it on random and on came a song he hadn't heard in almost a whole year. "Wanted Dead or Alive" by Bon Jovi began to softly emanate from the laptop's speakers. Dean hurriedly pressed pause, not wanting Sam to wake up to that song. And then he stared at the computer screen for a moment, the song title just sitting there as if it was mocking him. _That song_…

The song he had chosen to drive to his death listening to. The last song he and Sam had shared together in the Impala before he had gone to Hell. A song Dean was honestly fine never hearing again, because it reminded him of fear, failure, and the terrible acts he had committed after that night. But why was it on Sam's iPod? It wasn't like he had a lot of rock music on there. Sam was an indie listener mostly. Add in some alternative, country, and even a little pop…But rock songs weren't his thing. And of all the rock songs, Dean would have been certain that one wouldn't be on his list.

And so he continued to stare at the song title blankly. Did Sam like the song that much? Was it possible for Sam to just separate the negative emotions he'd felt that night from the positive ones the song made him feel? Or did Sam just not care enough to think about it like that? Maybe it didn't bring up any negative emotions at all... Maybe he didn't care.

No. He had to care. He was Sammy for Christ's sake! The guy who got sad every time he saw a kid putting up lost-dog signs, and who gave all his spare change to the homeless… This was Mr. Compassionate and Empathetic. There was no way he just _let go_ of the fact that "Wanted Dead or Alive" was basically his own brother's death anthem. Right?

While he was lost in his own thoughts, Dean neglected to notice Sam rise from his twin bed and come over to see what his brother was doing on his laptop. "Dean. It's my birthday. That definitely means you aren't allowed to surf for porn on my computer today. I get this one day a year at least…" Sam half-scolded. But the younger Winchester caught sight of what Dean was staring at and quickly changed his tone. "Oh. Yeah, that song. I just…It's a good memory, you know?" Sam mumbled, looking kind of awkward. Dean finally looked away from the computer screen and faced his brother. He couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at that statement. "Oh yeah. Real good times." He meant the statement to sound like a joke. Sarcastic but light. Instead it came out more harshly than he'd intended. His emotions peeking out through his words. Because how could Sam possibly associate anything _good _with the song that had played right before his death?

Sam looked confused at Dean's tone for a brief moment, but caught on quickly. "Not like that dude! I mean obviously it brings up some pretty awful memories too. In fact I wouldn't listen to it for a good couple months after you…left. But still, I put it on there eventually because it also reminded me of you." Dean looked like this wasn't helping matters. "Yeah, I bet it would." The older Winchester deadpanned, giving up on covering his hurt with anything but anger at this point. Sam decided he needed to elaborate quickly.

"I meant that it reminds me of who you are. That night I was about as terrified and depressed as I've ever been. And even though I knew you had to be feeling way worse, you still put on a brave face and made me feel better. You actually got me to laugh and _sing_, Dean. On a night when all I wanted to do was cry. I just thought it kind of summed you up. No matter how crappy things get, you always make them at least a bit better, you know? So that's what the song makes me think of now. That's why I got it." Sam finished his defensive speech somewhat lamely. And then, having realized how dangerously close to "chick flick" he'd just come, looked away and became fascinated with the wallpaper, doing his best not to look Dean in the eye.

Dean wasn't sure how to respond for a moment. But one thing was certain. He wasn't hurt or angry anymore. He looked at his brother's profile while the taller man shifted uncomfortably under his stare. Of course Sam had cared. Of course Sam had found a way to attach positive memories to that song. To view it as a link to his brother as opposed to a fire-filled chasm between them... Dean took a deep breath, and couldn't help but smile just a little.

He finally spoke, deciding the least mushy course of action would be to simply let the topic drop completely. "In response to your first statement, how dare you assume I was looking for porn! I am, quite frankly, offended...I was just trying to find "Heat of the Moment" so you could start you're day off right." Dean joked with a smirk. Sam recognized that Dean's tone had noticeably lightened and he decided it was safe to once more meet his brother's gaze. And in this silent exchange both could see that the other had understood everything.

Sam let out a breath he must have been holding in. "I repeat… It's my birthday Dean. And if you play that song even once I reserve the right to kill you slowly." Dean just snorted and exited out of the iTunes account, his original plan obviously a bust. But that didn't mean he wasn't going to do everything he could to make this birthday awesome for his little brother. After all…Sam totally deserved it.

**Secondary Author's note: Thanks for reading! I would love to hear your feedback, so please do leave a review. :) **


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